Here’s something weird about trauma: it very often makes you think that you suck. So many people with trauma think they’re unintelligent, worthless, bad people. They could join MENSA (please don’t, though), donate a kidney, and win a Nobel Peace prize all in one morning and later that night insist that they’re stupid scum who add nothing to the world. If this sounds like you but “you’re different,” I have news for you: you, my friend, are awesome. Now I will proceed to disprove all those bad things you say about yourself.
Let’s start with the part about being dumb, shall we? Stupid is very rarely a real thing. Stupid how? I’m positive you have unique knowledge, experience, and bits of wisdom others lack. You’ve survived trauma, for example, which is a learning experience in itself. There isn’t a meter, a spectrum with “smart” on one end and “stupid” on the other. I’m good with words, yet I flunked out of high school. Where would I fit on that meter? What are the criteria? Better yet, we have people with savant syndrome in our society. Y’know, people who are brilliant at one single thing but have great difficulty in other subjects. Where would you place them? Everyone has their own brand of intelligence, and you are no different. You’ve got what you’ve got, and that’s unique. In fact, you’re pretty great because your skill set, way of thinking, and knowledge are something that only you can bring to the table.
Okay, let’s talk about being worthless. You may say “I’m worthless.” To that, I ask “what the hell are you talking about?” What does that even mean? If you think you’re worthless, I would like you to look at the people around you. You probably think they’re all better than you, which is your prerogative, but do you think they all have value? If the answer is yes, I have another question: are you a homo sapien? If you aren’t and you're reading this, you’re incredible. Learning how to read is insanely difficult for animals, namely sea otters, who are almost certainly dyslexic. But if you are, in fact, a human, you are on the same plane as everyone else. If everyone has value, the chance of you being the only worthless person on earth is 1.3031014e-10%. If you have no value, then the statistical improbability of your situation would, in fact, give you value. Mathematically speaking, you aren’t worthless, and numbers don’t lie. Except for 2. That bastard’s irrational as fuck and cannot be trusted.
Next is the bit about being a bad person. Once again, what are you talking about? Are you a violent cannibal? If yes, I urge you to pursue help and maybe reread the food pyramid. If not, I would like you to explain why you’re a bad person. Is it because you’re flawed? If you know anyone who isn’t flawed, they’re a fraud. Everyone’s complicated and nuanced, and you are no exception. Remember, you’re human like the rest of us. You hold yourself to a standard that you don’t hold others to because you know that would be insane. You would tell people with identical flaws to yours that they’re trying to be their best selves, and the very fact that they’re putting in that kind of effort makes them good. Are you a bad person because someone told you that you are? Just because someone said it doesn’t make it true. My niece told me she’s the sneakiest person in the world after I “couldn’t find her” while she curled up in a ball and sat in the middle of the room for two minutes. People can be monumentally wrong, including those who put you down.
You’re human like the rest of us. No more, no less. You’re intelligent in your unique way, carry value, and are the best you there is. You wouldn’t treat others the way you treat yourself, so cut that out. You wouldn’t lie to others and tell them they’re meritless, scummy troglodytes, so why are you doing that to yourself? Cut yourself some slack, replace the negativity with positive thinking, and come to realize that you’re awesome. Seriously, pat yourself on the back because you’ve worked too hard and survived too much to take this kind of shit from anyone, especially that gorgeous specimen in the mirror.